As usual this is a very graphics intense space (i.e its gonna take some time - get over it and actually read the words first before looking at the pretty pictures)  - That and I of course am writing off in a tangent, so don't look for a plot here.

So I went to Chattanooga, Tennessee this weekend on January 15-17 for ChattaCon.  It's the Con-O-Relaxing with no events but to drink and flirt and party.  So this review will be a bit skimpy, but I did come through and have a few things to tell complete with pics (hey - I can't just make up stuff for your enjoyment - its a real review).  I had fun and will be attending next year. Thhhbbbttt to all you people who said you were going and didn't, you missed out on good times including the return of The Machine and my own version of impressionistic art.

I know you are all wondering what travel challenge (God always frowns upon me in this way) I faced on my way there, and i am not gonna disappoint this time either.  My car actually died 12 hours before I was supposed to leave.  I guess that's better than being on the road and that happening, but it still sucks. The up side? I got to rent a 1998 Mercury Tracer for next to nothing (and i arrived in style!).  The other travel blunder was that the room I was supposed to have was being reserved (or thought it was being reserved) by my pal Robyn.  Little did i know that she was getting engaged and had no time for the conventions :(  I now have no party partner and had to go it alone at this function.  That, and i had to find a room - and fast.

Luckily, I called my pal Alan and he said that there MIGHT be a slim chance I could stay with his pals from Chattanooga and Greenville who got two adjoining rooms (boys in one - girls in another - mother would be pleased) and might have bed space for me.  I was so surprised that his friends (who were virtually strangers at the time) called me up to let me know that i was more than welcome to stay there and told me the room number so I didn't have to needlessly roam around looking for someone with a key (which can get confusing and dangerous if you don't' know where you are staying and end up following the guy who has candy back to his room).

When I arrived (in record time in the splashy Tracer - K cars now officially suck), I was met with an oil spill - a trademark drink of some of the people who were staying there, and the relief in knowing I knew some of these people by face.  Theresa and Tom went off to get supplies (Sobriety Killer [Everclear and something else with Kool-Aid] is a favorite among the fans - its distributed and mixed in  a professional bug spraying tank and nozzle - see pics), and then off to dinner (you can't drink on an empty stomach).
 
 
 

This is Tom.  Tom loves to drink.	Tom also likes to use this toy to make his drink.
	RESULT:  Tom is on his way to making a fine beverage for the good people at Chattacon -  Sobriety Killer - now with EverClear.

Friday nite was not very spectacular, but that doesn't mean that i don't dress up.  I had a fabulous new pink outfit that I changed around to look like some sort of barbie doll clone (with white hooker boots according to Jello - classy).  I ran into the Jesters (Fred and Dale - they have a most excellent underground mag - www.degeneratepress.com- go look at it).  They are very funny guys and they never seem to run out things to make fun of (and they have the coolest hats).
 
 

Here I am with Fred - One of the Jesters

Fred even let me wear his treasured hat!

 
 

The people from Con-Tour were there and they were throwing a party in conjunction with the Jonestown Clan (see other reviews for the explanation of these groups).  This means only one thing - the Machine was up and running for Saturday nite, and I think I captured the spirit in my pics of it (sorry for so few, it was hard to get up to the front! - everyone digs a good spanking show).  I even got to participate.  I didn't' have to get in the machine ( I will one of these days, just last Saturday was not that day) because Kelly took my place (see the MOC review for what she looks like - red vinyl says it all).
 
 

Here we have a brave volunteer from the audience.

Here is me beating the volunteer

And here is an enthusiastic bondage wanna-be who beat him so hard, I am willing to bet he couldn't sit down for the rest of the week. (Good show) RESULT: Happy women and bruised men

My pal Kevin (MOC's favorite Bartender) was not able to attend (even though he promised) so we bought him a shirt (just like we did for Greg) and proceeded to do things to the shirt that he could have enjoyed had he attended the con.  I did my part by my impressionistic body painting and had an artsy kind of abstract smiley face on the shirt when i was done (see photos for the blow by blow).  These pics also star Tom as my lovely assistant. We will give Kevin his shirt at the next MOC (March) and a beating.
 
 

First Cat and Paula helped me tape up the parts of my clothes that might get paint on them.  (Stained clothes are never fabulous unless it was fun making the stain)	After the paint and tape were applied, it was time to make the eyes of my smiley face on the shirt by giving my fabo assistant a big hug.
Then I made the smile with the red paint on my thighs (and gave a smile to Tom in the process)	RESULT:  A remarkable resemblence of a Smiley Face and hopefully a very jealous Kevin when he receives this shirt.

Did I forget to mention that I was a victim of a cruel joke (that later turned out profitable - free food for the weekend- wahoo).   It ended up when I reached for my camera Saturday morning, Will (a new con fan on the scene that was staying across the hall) hid his face in embarrassment (his face and shaved head went completely raspberry) and his friends behind him were laughing hysterically.  It turned out that Will (a.k.a. Mr. Clean) thought he would play a trick on one of his friends by taking his camera and shooting a nasty pic of his penis with it. He didn't realize it was my camera and was abundantly sorry. He bought me food and was the brunt of much harassment for the rest of the con.  And yes children, I have posted that pic for your enjoyment and his embarrassment. But wait, there is more, I have also posted his real face so you can spot him in a crowd should you need to. (Will, you know I love you dearly, but I couldn't just leave this one in the closet, it had to be shown, please forgive me - besides, I think it turned out pretty decent considering you were plowed and its partially hidden by your shirt :))

This is Will.  He looks like a nice enough guy.

And this is the pic he took with my camera when he drank too much Sobriety Killer. RESULT: A very embarrassed Will and free food for me (as well as great ratings for my website!)

The ride back was uneventful, but little did I realize that the K car can only do 65 until it starts to shake like an epileptic  while the Tracer can go the speed of light and I still won't spill my Krank20.  I was stopped in some crappy little cow town by a deputy dog who was so pleased to have stopped me at 90 in a 65.  I guess he really wanted that free toaster.  If that weren't bad enough, I was stopped yet again not ten minutes later by a Dudley-Doo-Right type trooper who was desperately trying to explain to me that i was not being framed and what are those red pills?  I was complete wreck and it totally spoiled my entire mood (not to mention bank account) and got out of neither of those tickets and ended up looking like a silly girl needing a pill fix.
 

The Reverend shares with us another groovy idea involving joining his own county when he seceeds from the nation

Me and T-Rex We match!

I want to thank Theresa, Paula, Cat, Alan, Jello, and Tom for letting me stay in their room when they could have let me sleep in the lobby like every other non planning fool.  I also want to thank Will for being a good sport about his faux pas and letting me print his pics.  I also want to thank Jester Dale for knowing how to swing dance and Jester Fred for being Jester Fred (you know what I am talking about, Frederick).  A shout out should also go to the good folks at Con-Tour (Ron, T-Rex, and Chris) who know how to throw a smashing party, and to the Jonestown crew for bringing in the machine (The owner of the machine - Dave - kicks ass) to that party.  And of course, no shin-dig would be complete without the Reverend and his ramblings.
 
 

Here is the infamous Jello He has his own calendar as well!!

Here are me, Cat, and Theresa. We thought we would go formal.

What did I learn this weekend?
I learned that cable modem can get you "porn at the speed of thought."  I learned that Photo Pronto will print the nasty pics if you tell them ahead of time and let them keep copies for themselves, and last but not least, I learned that cops going the opposite direction on the interstate will actually make the effort to turn around on the median to pull you over.

I know this is short, but I have left you with various other pics complete with captions and thoughts that might sum up this weekend as well.   Check out my next review of Fantasm  which will be held on February 26-28 by Con-Tour.  It's a very special con, as there will be other cam girls attending with their webcams.  Come and join us as Chris from www.gigglecam.com wants to throw an online lingerie party there and create general chaos.  Other things that will be there that aren't mentioned in the website include The Machine (as specified above), Jonestown Crew, and of course - Me.  I will be co-hosting some panels there with Chris.
 
 

Will shows his ability to use tape as a fashion statment.

Isn't this stunning? Actually it shows how bored you can be inbetween the time of after getting over your hangover and before you can start drinking for the evening.

 

I don't care what anyone says.  At three in the morning, this is the best outfit to be in.

Isn't she just adorable looking?

She even let me pose with her by The Machine!

This is Blane in his usual wear of plaid and something that doesn't go with plaid.  If I can recall correctly, the guy next to him was pretty mad that he was in a picture with him.  Plaid is not for everyone - but it was made for Blane.

Just a boy and his blender.

This is us in the elevator looking at the ceiling mirror (I am the ray of light). It didnt' turn out the way I wanted it to.  But you can see that if it did turn out, it would have been really cool looking.

This was a belly dancer at the con that gave a great show.

This is Greg (he has a shirt and a con named after him). He didn't have a camera but insisted on having a pic with me anyway.

Tom and Jello can't seem to hide their feelings for each other.  We hosed them off of each other shortly after this pic was taken. :)